Wednesday, August 8, 2012

NikonSniper: The Golden Years UPDATED!



OK, I've said this before and I'll say it again. I was dropped a lot as a baby and I had more than just a taste of lead based paint chips. In the words of Forrest Gump, "I am not a smart man."

So, recently, just for kicks, I have been messing around with a wasp nest in a pipe beside my house. I would move the pipe around to watch the yellow-jackets searching for their home 10-20 feet away. This is fun. I further would bang the pipe against things till they would fall out of the pipe. Also fun, when you could further aggravate the nest of 4-6 wasps. I did this for a few days always banging 4-6 out of the nest and then moving the nest around.

About ten days ago, I was doing the old routine and thumped the pipe so hard against the decking on the side of the house only to have 60+ angry wasps roll out in a large ball right in front of my face. Mmmm ... paint chips! I think it was homecoming week in the pipe. So I discovered that I'm still fast when I have to be!

Seeing this large ball o'bees roll out in front of me started a very interesting process. First, my eyes told my brain this was dangerous. Wonder why I had to see the bees before I realized this was dangerous? Well, I am a product of the Texas school system! Anyway, when my eyes revealed danger to my brain, my adrenaline shot up stupid high. In fleeing, or should I say, in flight to the house, I rotated 180 degrees and took two strides with my left foot before picking up my right. This tore all kinds of stuff in my right leg.

The bees are still out in that pipe. I am now finally able to put weight on a bluey-yellow right leg again. And I think I'll move on to something equally entertaining like being a first-time rodeo clown at the county fair. How hard can that be?

I thought I would update this post with a photo of my leg that boasts what happens when you do this kind of thing at my age. If it gets any worse I'll cut you a piece for the next family barbeque. MMMM, they say the yellow meat is delicious. I will be dragging this leg behind me like a wounded vet in Colorado tomorrow. Oh, I knew I about this trip before I started jacking around with the bees. Not too smart huh?

Have a great weekend.
nikonsniper steve

14 comments:

Laura said...

Haha! Yikes! Take care of that leg. Stay away from the wasp nest!

Nantucket Daffodil said...

Ok usually I just look at your pictures, but this put me over the edge! I can't stop laughing. Sorry you're hurt! Find a new hobby :)

Montanagirl said...

HaHa...LOVE it!!

Muffy's Marks said...

Stay entertained with photography, its safer and I enjoy your work!! Hope your leg heals quickly. God Bless!

C Hummel Kornell a/k/a C Hummel Wilson said...

Okay, now my husband thinks I'm at least a bubble off plumb since I attempted to read your hilarious account to him and could not stop laughing long enough to get it out! Believe me, this kind of action is not solely a result of a Texas education--Iowa falls in there as a close second. Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh which I know will continue throughout the day. Hope your leg heals up fast and may I suggest that if you must play with insects you choose something more innocent like grasshoppers?

Almost Precious said...

Just wondering ... is that a self-portrait photo ?

Stephen Baird said...

almost precious,
yes it is a self portrait morphing in perhaps an attempt to reflect a little more of what one might normally look like to do some of things I do!
nikonsniper steve

Judy said...

*howling* Thanks for the laugh. And for the record: Rodeo clowning is one of the most dangerous jobs out there. While the cowboy is trying to avoid the raging beast, the clown is trying to attract them... sounds familiar. God bless 'em.

Kay L. Davies said...

I have a brother who would have done something like that, but he'd have done it when we were kids.
When it was discovered Dad was allergic to bee and wasp stings (very allergic, epi-pen allergic) we treated such critters with much more respect.
Hilarious story, however, and I'm sorry for your pain.
K

Jan said...

This was funny...lol!!! Not that you were hurt! I am sorry about that! But the picture in my mind is doing re-runs :)

Jan

Stiletto said...

This is hilarious but sorry about the injury which is largely self-inflicted :D So next time let sleeping dogs/bees lie/be.

Life Line said...

Funny....Haha

Julie said...

The terms bee and wasp aren't interchangeable. One major difference that you'll appreciate is that wasps can sting humans repeatedly, bees can only sting once. So, you were right to sense danger. 60 wasps stinging repeatedly could have put you in the hospital. Glad you're still fleet of foot.

Debbie said...

You are crazy! I have two wasp nests under my house right behind my flower beds. I've experienced them more than once, and I'm letting the weeds grow this year. I've thought about waiting until after dark and working by flashlight, but....uh no. Instead of playing with them, my choice would have been to grab the can of wasp spray. At our age, the fun is not worth it! ha Hilarious post!